9招让你更乐观

小编摘要：生活之中不如意十有八九，如果消极对待，只会让事情更加糟糕，只有积极乐观的态度才能帮你度过一切难关。

导读：

生活之中不如意十有八九，如果消极对待，只会让事情更加糟糕，只有积极乐观的态度才能帮你度过一切难关。

 

 

Life certainly has its fair share of ups and downs, but if you tend to focus too much on the negative, it can affect everything you do. By seeing the glass as half full, you'll not only make your day-to-day experiences more enjoyable, but also improve your health (a recent Harvard study found that optimists have lower blood pressure levels, heart disease rates and more). Luckily you're not doomed to a life of glum and gloom—you can actually change your outlook for the better. Read on for nine easy ways to stay on the brighter side of life.

1. Acknowledge what you're grateful for. 学会对生活感恩

One very important component of optimism is gratitude. In fact, a 2003 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that there is a strong connection between a grateful attitude and a heightened sense of well-being. Appreciate all the positives in your life by starting a gratitude journal in order to remember what you're thankful for. "I carry a small notebook in my purse and jot down moments of good in my life," says veteran broadcast journalist Deborah Norville, author of Thank You Power. "When I look back at the entries, seeing the words rekindles the good feelings that prompted me to enter them in the first place." By remembering the pleasant things in your life, you can actually turn a negative attitude around.

2. Fake happiness until you feel it. 在失意的时候伪装快乐

Feeling down? Instead of moping around waiting for the universe to throw you a bone, try acting like you're happy—even if you aren't. "The brain can be influenced top down and bottom up to make changes," says Mark C. Brown, PhD, psychologist and author of the upcoming Live Like a Window, Work Like a Mirror. He explains that a genuine smile and a forced smile will cause the same chemical reactions in your brain, so you can actually fool your mind into feeling better by making it react chemically as if things were going well. "So act in an optimistic way—smile, laugh, tell a joke or reassure yourself that everything is good—even if you don't feel it."

3. Evaluate the good in your life. 每天写几件你生活中的乐事

It's easy to focus on the bad events when they occur, looking at them from all angles in order to find out what went wrong. However, doing the opposite actually helps you become more optimistic. In 2005, Martin Seligman, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania, published a study in which he asked a group of people to complete the "Three Good Things" exercise. Every night for six months, participants wrote down three things that went well that day, along with explanations for why they happened. At the end of the study the participants were happier and less depressed than when they started. The idea is that by forcing yourself to think about why good things occur—"My presentation at work went well because I spent a lot of time preparing for it"—you'll start to see your life in a more positive way, helping you to be more optimistic about your future.

4. Be mindful of your surroundings. 将注意力集中在你的生活中正在发生的事上，别为过去忧伤，也别为将来担心

You don't have to break out the love beads or enroll in a yoga class to practice mindfulness; it simply means being aware of what's going on around you as well as what you're thinking. "Often, things that sap our positive outlook and energy are either remnants from the past or worries about the future," says motivational speaker and happiness expert Valerie Sheppard. "Being present with what is, rather than what was or what might be, helps us feel confident and cheerful in the here-and-now." But how do you do it? Rather than trying to change the way you feel because it's "bad," simply acknowledge it and move on. So, instead of thinking "I feel so stressed out and need to stop right now," think, "I feel stressed out and that's OK." Or, try focusing on something in your immediate surroundings, whether that's your breathing or the pretty scenery outside your office window. By focusing your attention on something else, this will stop you from feeling badly about, well, feeling badly.

5. Turn off the news… …and turn on something more uplifting, like the National Geographic Channel. 少看新闻，多看看《人与自然》之类的节目

Though you may think that vigilantly keeping up with the latest events is simply informing you, it may also be bringing you down. "The more we immerse ourselves in doom-and-gloom sermons, the more we succumb to their energy," says Sheppard. "Trade in the things that raise your fear and frustration for alternatives that elevate your hopefulness and inspiration."

6. Counter every negative with a positive. 不顺的时候多想想生活中的好时光

Every time you stumble upon a roadblock, challenge yourself to think of something good that's happening as well. "People tend to think in an either-or way: If you're stuck in traffic, then everything else must be going horribly too," says Anne Parker, a wellness counselor at Miraval Resort & Spa in Tucson, Arizona. By blowing negative events out of proportion, you're setting yourself up for feeling down all day. "Instead, acknowledge that you're stuck in traffic, but also bring to mind something good, like the beautiful scenery outside the window, the interesting radio show you’re listening to or a hug from your child that morning." That way, you'll get in the habit of forbidding negative circumstances from blanketing your whole day, and you'll learn to see them as just one small part of an otherwise good day.

7. Focus on small goals instead of big ones. 多为自己制定一些易实现的短期目标，努力实现它们

Pledging to lose 20 pounds or run a marathon seem like goals that will lead to happiness, except that people have a tendency to beat themselves up if they struggle to obtain them. "It's our natural tendency to focus on what we haven't accomplished instead of what we have," says Parker. Major life goals take time to achieve, so by focusing on not having accomplished them yet, you will start to feel down on yourself-and may even end up throwing in the towel, causing your outlook on life to worsen. However, if you focus on the small milestones that occur along the way, you will feel positive about your progress, which will give you the momentum to keep going. "If your goal is to lose 20 pounds, know that you have to do it one pound at a time. Instead of beating yourself up for still being overweight, despite weeks of dieting and exercise, congratulate yourself for dropping three pounds."

8. Help someone in need. 帮助需要帮助的人

Want to give your attitude a boost? Try making someone else's day better. A report by UnitedHealthcare and VolunteerMatch found that volunteers are 72% more likely to characterize themselves as optimistic compared with non-volunteers. Plus, 89% of volunteers say that volunteering has improved their sense of well-being, and 92% say that it enriches their sense of purpose in life. Find a way to give back near you by visiting VolunteerMatch.org or the Volunteers of America website.

9. Decide to be happy every day. 下定决心开心度过每一天

Many of us don't think about needing to have a positive outlook when things are going well—it's only when we're stressed out or in a foul mood that we wish we could press the "optimism button." But, according to Dr. Brown, the ideal moment to make a conscious decision to be happy is at the start of your day. "Each morning, while you're still in bed, say and repeat statements like, 'This is going to be a good day' or 'I’m looking forward to this day because…' The best time to do this is when you're relaxed and your mind is unencumbered by concerns or anxiety." By beginning your morning on the right foot, you can program your mind to be more optimistic all day long.

How to be happy: Tips for cultivating contentment

Are you tired of waiting around for happiness to find you? Stop waiting and start getting happy with these tips.

Do you know how to be happy? Or are you waiting for happiness to find you? Despite what the fairy tales depict, happiness doesn't appear by magic. It's not even something that happens to you. It's something you can cultivate. So, what are you waiting for? Start discovering how to be happy.

How to be happy: What science tells us

Only 10 percent or so of the variation in people's reports of happiness can be explained by differences in their circumstances. The bulk of what determines happiness is your personality and — more modifiable — your thoughts and behaviors. So, yes, you can learn how to be happy — or at least happier.

Although you may have thought, as many people do, that happiness comes from being born rich or beautiful or living a stress-free life, the reality is that those things don't confer lasting happiness. Indeed, how to be happy can't be boiled down to one thing. Happiness is the sum of your life choices. People who are happy seem to intuitively know this, and their lives are built on the following pillars:

• Devoting time to family and friends
• Appreciating what they have
• Maintaining an optimistic outlook
• Feeling a sense of purpose
• Living in the moment

How to be happy: Practice, practice, practice

The good news is that your choices, thoughts and actions can influence your level of happiness. It's not as easy as flipping a switch, but you can turn up your happiness level. Here's how to get started on the path to creating a happier you.

Invest in relationships

Surround yourself with happy people. Being around people who are content buoys your own mood. And by being happy yourself, you give something back to those around you.

Friends and family help you celebrate life's successes and support you in difficult times. Although it's easy to take friends and family for granted, these relationships need nurturing. Build up your emotional account with kind words and actions. Be careful and gracious with critique. Let people know that you appreciate what they do for you or even just that you're glad they're part of your life.

Express gratitude

Gratitude is more than saying thank you. It's a sense of wonder, appreciation and, yes, thankfulness for life. It's easy to go through life without recognizing your good fortune. Often, it takes a serious illness or other tragic event to jolt people into appreciating the good things in their lives. Don't wait for something like that to happen to you.

Make a commitment to practice gratitude. Each day identify at least one thing that enriches your life. When you find yourself thinking an ungrateful thought, try substituting a grateful one. For example, replace "my sister forgot my birthday" with "my sister has always been there for me in tough times." Let gratitude be the last thought before you go off to sleep. Let gratitude also be your first thought when you wake up in the morning.

Cultivate optimism

Develop the habit of seeing the positive side of things. You needn't become a Pollyanna — after all, bad things do happen, and it would be silly to pretend otherwise. But you don't have to let the negatives color your whole outlook on life. Remember that what is right about you almost always trumps what is wrong about you.

If you're not an optimistic person by nature, it may take time for you to change your pessimistic thinking. Start by recognizing negative thoughts as you have them. Then take a step back and ask yourself these key questions:

• Is the situation really as bad as I think?
• Is there another way to look at the situation?
• What can I learn from this experience that I can use in the future?

Find your purpose

People who strive to meet a goal or fulfill a mission — whether it's growing a garden, caring for children or finding one's spirituality — are happier than those who don't have such aspirations. Having a goal provides a sense of purpose, bolsters self-esteem and brings people together. What your goal is doesn't matter as much as whether the process of working toward it is meaningful to you. Try to align your daily activities with the long-term meaning and purpose of your life. Research studies suggest that relationships provide the strongest meaning and purpose to your life. So cultivate meaningful relationships.

Are you engaged in something you love? If not, ask yourself these questions to discover how you can find your purpose:

• What excites and energizes me?
• What are my proudest achievements?
• How do I want others to remember me?

Live in the moment

Don't postpone joy waiting for a day when your life is less busy or less stressful. That day may never come. Instead, look for opportunities to savor the small pleasures of everyday life. Focus on the positives in the present moment. Don't spend your time rehashing the past or worrying about the future. Take time to stop and smell the flowers.

经常看看

现在很痛苦，等过阵子回头看看，会发现其实那都不算事。

学会宽容伤害自己的人，因为他们很可怜，各人都有自己的难处，大家都不容易。

别低估任何人。

你没那么多观众，别那么累。

过去的事情可以不忘记，但一定要放下。

人生为棋，我愿为卒，行动虽慢，可谁曾见我后退一步。

开心了就笑，不开心了就过会儿再笑。

当地球180度转弯，白天就要变成黑夜；当地球继续180度转弯，黑夜又恢复白天。当我们为了一个人180度转弯，我们背对着自己的叹息；当我们为了自己再次180度转弯，其实一切都可以重新开始！

不要太过依赖除自己以外的人，因为只有自己不会抛弃自己。
永远对生活充满希望，对于困境与磨难，微笑面对。

努力爱一个人。付出，不一定会有收获；不付出，却一定不会有收获，不要奢望出现奇迹。

不要试图控制别人，不要要求别人理解你

6、没有十全十美的东西，没有十全十美的人，关键是清楚到底想要什么。得到想要的，肯定会失去另外一部分。如果什么都想要，只会什么都得不到。

　　47、这个世界最脆弱的是生命，身体健康，很重要。

　　48、老天爷对每个人都是公平的。

　　49、不要试图控制别人，不要要求别人理解你

　　50、活在当下，别在怀念过去或者憧憬未来中浪费掉你现在的生活

　　51、不要忘本，任何时候，任何事情

　　52、要诚恳，要坦然，要慷慨，要宽容，要有平常心

　　53、学会忘记,善忘是一件好事

　　54、要乐观，要积极，多笑，多照镜子

做自己的决定。然后准备好承担后果。从一开始就提醒自己，世上没有后悔药吃。

要学会忍耐与坚持！

当困难来临时，用微笑去面对，用智慧去解决。

要勇于承认自己所犯的错误，并承担其带来的责任。

痛苦让人成长，是你进步的一个机会，一个挑战。别害怕痛苦的事情，它有另一面积极的作用。

　　71、人就是孤独的，缓解它带来的痛苦的唯一方式就是平静的接受它。

、当困难来临时，用微笑去面对，用智慧去解决。

　　76、要勇于承认自己所犯的错误，并承担其带来的责任。

　　77、爱家人，爱朋友，爱伴侣，爱孩子，然而，要真正为自己活。

　　78、永远不要为已发生的和未发生的事忧虑。已经发生既成事实忧虑也于事无补，未发生的凭主观臆测，无法推断事情的走向，徒增烦恼而已。

　　79、不要老在别人面前倾诉你的困境袒露你的脆弱。

　　80、不要想着依靠别人，要有目标有追求，这与年龄无关。

　　81、做一个简单的人，踏实而务实。不沉溺幻想。不庸人自扰。

　　82、学会思考，头脑清晰，明白自己的渺小，切忌自我陶醉。炮打出头鸟，凡事不要强出头，因为并没有想象中的强！

　　83、每个人都是独立的个体，真的没有谁离开谁就活不下去！

豁达的享受生活

豁达的享受生活

在现今的社会和工作中，各种各样的压力常常让人觉得难以招架，面对巨大的压力，我们应该怎么生活，怎样面对，如何保持豁达的心态，如何享受生活和人生，的确是值得认真思考的问题。人活着，生活是为了什么？生活应当是我们珍惜的一种经验，而不是要捱过去的日子。每天忙忙碌碌，埋头苦干，真想享受生活乐趣的时候。却会不会发现失去了些什么呢？当钱太多的时候，你又不会觉得钱的珍贵。做人不要太要强，没有人能永远比别人厉害，也不可能各方面都胜过他人，知足常乐啊，难得糊涂也不错的。

豁达的人，处在困境能够安忍，处在顺遂乐于助人，处在疑惑找出答案，无论何境，都能为生命找到出路，因此能随遇而安，随缘生活，随喜而作，随心欢喜。想要豁达，有以上四点方法。

有一句话说：「成熟的人不问过去，聪明的人不问现在，豁达的人不问未来。」心胸开阔的人，把握当下，心里没有半点障碍，人生任何处境，都能面对处之。如何才能豁达呢？以下四点：

第一、发财不如发心：《劝发菩提心文》：「入道要门，发心为首。」发心，是肯定自己的力量。从发心中，可以拥有无尽的财宝。发心工作，会获得成就感，你努力付出，也会增加升迁的机会；发心研读，能读出学问的趣味，智能知识愈来愈广博；发心修行，内心多一层体悟，自然多一份自在。世间的财富，会有用光的一天，发心的财宝取之不尽，用之不竭。

第二、改运不如改心：俗话说：「乌鸦的声音不改，飞到哪里里都不受欢迎。」一个人如果心念不正，看什么都是歪的。如果不想被命运束缚，就要改变自己的心念，把污秽的心，改为清净的心，把邪恶的念头，改为纯正的念头；改掉情绪化的脾气，改掉逞强好斗的个性，运气自然会好转起来。

第三、治世不如治心：社会上有环保问题、经济问题、民生问题、治安问题、青少年问题……种种问题层出不穷。面对这些社会的沉痼，有人希望用严刑峻罚，有人希望用种种条规约束，这都还是治标不治本。真正的问题出在人心，从人的自私、嫉妒、�恚、邪恶的心治起，大家的心治好了，这些问题就会有所解决。

第四、救人不如救心：有一则〈中山狼〉的故事，叙述东郭先生救了一匹狼，反而差点被狼吃掉，比喻不从心救，纵使救活，�还是不离旧习。该如何救人呢？贫穷的人，要帮助他有谋生的能力；懒惰的人，要激发他奋发向上的力量；苦闷的人，要帮助他建立正向的人生观。救了他的心，他的人生就跟著提升了。

这里有一个关于豁达的故事，希望对大家有点启发：

三伏天，禅院的草地枯黄了一大片。“快撒点草种子吧！好难看哪！”小和尚说。“等天凉了。”
师傅挥挥手：“随时！”
中秋，师傅买了一包草籽，叫小和尚去播种。
秋风起，草籽边撒、边飘。“不好了！好多种子都被吹飞了。”小和尚喊。
“没关系，吹走的多半是空的，撒下去也发不了芽。”师傅说：“随性！”

撒完种子，跟着就飞来几只小鸟啄食。“要命了！种子都被鸟吃了！”小和尚急得跳脚。
“没关系！种子多吃不完！”师傅说：“随遇！”
半夜一阵骤雨，小和尚早晨冲进禅房：“师傅！这下真完了！好多草籽被雨水冲走了！”
“冲到哪儿，就在哪儿发！”师傅说：“随缘！”
  一个星期过去了。原本光秃秃的地面，居然长出许多清翠的草苗。一些原来没有播种的角落，也泛出了绿意。

小和尚高兴的直拍手。
师傅点头：“随喜！”
随不是跟随，是顺其自然，不怨怼、不躁进、不过度、不强求。
随不是随便，是把握机缘，不悲观、不刻板、不慌乱、不忘形。
  不要幻想生活总是那么圆圆满满，也不要幻想在生活的四季中享受所有的春天，每个人的一生都注定要跋涉沟沟坎坎，品尝苦涩与无奈，经历挫折与失意。

  在漫漫旅途中，失意并不可怕，受挫也无需忧伤。只要心中的信念没有萎缩，只要自己的季节没有严冬，即使风凄厉冷，即使大雪纷飞。艰难险阻是人生对你另一种形式的馈赠，坑坑洼洼也是对你意志的磨砺和考验。落英在晚春凋零，来年又灿烂一片；黄叶在秋风中飘落，春天又焕发出勃勃生机。这何尝不是一种达观，一种洒脱，一份人生的成熟，一份人情的练达。
   这种洒脱人生，不是玩世不恭，更不是自暴自弃，洒脱是一种思想上的轻松，洒脱是一种目光的朝前。有洒脱才不会终日郁郁寡欢，有洒脱才不觉人生活得太累。

懂得了这一点，我们才不至于对生活求全责备，才不会在生活受挫之后彷徨失意。
懂得了这一点，我们才能挺起刚劲的脊梁，披着温柔的阳光，找到充满希望的起点。
一个人的性格，往往在大胆中蕴含了鲁莽，在谨慎中伴随着犹豫，在聪明中体现了狡猾，在固执中折映出坚强，羞怯会成为一种美好的温柔，暴躁会表现一种力量与激情、但无论如何，豁达，对于任何人，都会赋予他们一种完美的色彩。
  一般认为，豁达是一种人生的态度，但从更深的层次看，豁达却是一种待人处事的思维方式。

The science of happiness: happier people are healthier

The science of happiness: happier people are healthier

Look back at the past month and consider: Have you been happy? Overall, how satisfied are you with your life? Take note of your answers, because they could predict your future health.

A study of nearly 10,000 people found that, 2 years later, those with higher rates of happiness and life satisfaction reported 50 percent better health and less long-term, limiting health conditions. Another long-term study of nuns discovered that those who wrote autobiographies reflecting happiness, love, and hope at a young age had a 2.5 times lower risk of dying early than their gloomier young counterparts.

"Happier people tend to be healthier," says David Sobel, MD, medical director of Health Education for Kaiser Permanente in Northern California. "Research now shows that people who express positive emotions like joy, cheerfulness, and enthusiasm are 22 percent less likely to develop heart disease over the next 10 years."

Dr. Sobel adds, "This doesn't mean they will never have heart attacks, but science proves that smiling and cheerfulness are linked to heart protection."

If there were a happiness pill, your doctor would surely prescribe it. Happier people are more successful at work, have better relationships, are more creative, and have fewer stress hormones. They also tend to have more energy, get more exercise, have better immune function, sleep better, and live longer.

What's the source of happiness?

In his book, Healthy Pleasures, Dr. Sobel writes that, "many of us believe our well-being depends almost solely upon success on the job; so we separate work from life and aim for wealth, status, power, and property."

But research shows that for most people, only about 10 percent of happiness comes from life circumstances. Upturns in work, money, marital status, and material goods are unlikely to bring long-term increased happiness.

"About 50 percent of what determines happiness appears to be genetic," says Dr. Sobel. "Some people are wired for cheerfulness, optimism, and joy, while others tend toward fearfulness, pessimism, and depression."

Studies of twins separated at birth suggest that we are born with a set point for happiness. Humans adapt quickly, so our set point stays about the same, with slight, temporary shifts following major events.

Can I become happier?

"The good news," says Dr. Sobel, "is that about 40 percent ofhappiness comes from things within our control: thoughts, feelings, moods, plans, and activities. It's the combined effect of often overlooked daily events that add up to more lasting happiness."

So indulge yourself in healthy pleasures—spend time in a garden, walk the dog, play on the floor with the kids, savor your food, or relax to your favorite music. And the holidays are a great time for activities with family and friends—make decorations, go to a musical event, take a winter walk.

"These small activities can momentarily boost your mood and enjoyment," says Dr. Sobel, "while adding up to more overall life satisfaction, happiness, and good health."

Choose enjoyable activities that fit your personality and offer variety. When an activity feels good, continue to adjust the "when, where, how, and with whom" to keep it fresh.

Won't money make me happier?

Except for the very poor, more money usually doesn't bring lasting happiness. Studies show that very wealthy people are only slightly happier than blue-collar workers, and that happiness levels among Americans have stayed flat over the past 50 years while nationwide income levels have greatly increased.

"As income rises," says Dr. Sobel, "people tend to spend more time working and commuting and less time doing things they associate with greater happiness. One study did find that money can make you happier—if you give it away or spend it on someone else!"

What if I just don't feel happy?

"Momentary periods of sadness are a natural, healthy part of life," says Dr. Sobel.  "We're not saying that you should never feel sad. The holidays can be especially difficult for some people."

But if sadness tips toward depression, it's time to ask for help. Signs of depression include feeling down or hopeless; changes in sleep, appetite, or energy level; and a loss of interest in activities, friends, or family for most of the day, on most days, for more than two weeks.

Kindness + Gratitude = Happiness

Here are some scientifically proven exercises that can help you increase happiness by changing actions, behaviors, and thoughts.

• Commit five acts of kindness: Bring in your neighbor's paper, offer someone your place in line, share your lunch. Studies show that people who commit five acts on the same day had a measurable increase in happiness.
• Count five blessings: Good weekend weather, a friend's improved health, a rosebush in bloom. At the end of each week, write down five things you're grateful for.

A piece of dialog from Kongfu Panda

...

And the five , man , you should 've seen 'em , they totally hate me.
Totally!

How's shifu ever gonna turn me into the dragon warrior , I mean I am not like the five , I've got no claws , no wings , no venom , even mantis has those ... these , maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.

Quit , don't quit , noodles , don't noodles , you are too concern with what was and what will be . there is a saying , yestoday is history , tomorrow is a mystery , but today is a gift , that is why it is called present ...